When you’re trying to change your life, there will be people that feel the need to get in your way. A few of them might actually believe they’re trying to help you, but they’re not. They want you to stay just the way you are. That way, they can feel comfortable about not improving themselves, too.
It’s frustrating to find out that few people are on your side, but it’s something that must be managed if you want to succeed. So lets find out why it happens
Why Others Try to Hold You Back From Success
They point out your past failures.
We’ve all failed numerous times in the past. Through them we have either discovered things we don’t want to do, or have discovered ways NOT to do something.
Some people in your life will undoubtedly bring up those failures in an attempt to sabotage your efforts. They will very likely have a list of everything you have ever tried.
The Guilt Trip
They will try to make you feel guilty. Guilt is another weapon in their arsenal.
You aren’t spending enough time with your family or friends is a common one.
You might also be told that you should be saving all the money for your child’s educational needs. To buy something for the house or put towards a bigger house/better car or anything
They try to distract you with, lets go out to the cinema, a bar, a walk, to play sport or any other of the many time distractions. Come and watch a box set together, spend time with the children, go out for a drive to the beach, park or whatever.
But why would they do it in the first place? It doesn’t seem kind and supportive and it’s not. Though they might try to present it that way.
Mostly it’s because people fear change. They don’t want their life to change even if they are bored. They definitely don’t want to step outside their comfort zone and the fact that you do is seen as a threat.
Why people close to you try to sabotage your efforts:
They want to stay comfortable with their mediocrity. If you do something amazing, they have to deal with the fact that they have not. No one wants to feel like they’re losing the game of life. Rather than deal with their own fear, insecurity and laziness, it’s just easier and less work to hold you back.
While there are some people that are genuinely happy to see you achieve something great, win the lottery, or lose 50 pounds, there are even more that are jealous. They’ll try to stop you from being successful by chipping away at your self confidence and self esteem. A constant barrage of negative comments to wear you down and make you give up. Later this will be a failure to be thrown back at you should you want try again.
All this will be done under the guise of caring. Saving you from disappointment, from yet another failure, from getting over tired and all because they are trying to help.
This can become a very toxic relationship, especially if it’s done subtly so you aren’t aware of it for some time.
People don’t like change
Your time is being taken up with something they aren’t a part of. It takes you away when they want the attention they are used to having.
Change for most people is threatening. If you change, it threatens the status quo. If you become something different, where does that leave them? They feel left out and insignificant.
They are scared that you will succeed and won’t want them anymore, that you will outgrow their affections.
It’s psychologically easier for them if you just stay the same.
What should you do
Not give up.
Keep explaining that it for a better future for you all, if it’s your other half or even your children trying to hold you back.
The main solution is to commit to being successful in spite of the objections of others. You might want to consider removing the worst offenders from your life. Life is hard enough without having your own friends and family trying to make it even harder.
If they are your nearest and dearest and you can’t and don’t want remove them from your life, then plan your time well to give them enough time too. Try to explain what you are doing if they show any interest.
Commit to your goals for the right reason. Impressing others is a shallow reason for doing something and unlikely to lead to lasting success. Do it for yourself.
Think hard about your reasons and discover your WHY! Having a why that is big enough will keep you going regardless of the people trying to stop you. Regardless of the tiredness from learning so much and working so hard. It will help you reach your goals.
Consider keeping your biggest goals to yourself. You will receive less resistance from others and they won’t find it quite scary.
Choose what’s best for your life and do it! You don’t need the approval of others.
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6 thoughts on “Why Others Try to Hold You Back From Success”
A well-made point. Many, especially family members don’t want to see the change for the better. Maybe they are scared that things will not work out for you or maybe as you say they just don’t like change.
I have to say a lot of the time friends just want what is best for you but if you’re certain that they are maybe envious of the decision you choose to make and can’t make a reasonable argument against your decision then don’t give up.
Thank you for your comments Mike.
Sometimes, I think it’s fear of being left behind.
I agree, friends do want the best for you in the main, sometimes though they are unaware they are trying to hold you back, same with family.
Giving up always seems a waste to me, much better to change tack and try another way.
What a helpful post! I’ve just experienced exactly what you treated in this post. There are some people close to me that truly came around and tried to discourage me from catching up with my online business, but I said No! Glad I had the right mindset from the onset! If not for that, I would have given up and quit by now.
I want to agree with you that most people try to hold us back from success because they themselves are big-time failures. Having known this, there’s no point allowing anyone to hold us back from our success path. Thanks for the inspiring post!
Glad you found it useful Joyce. I had much the same thing in the early days, though once it was earning they didn’t mind so much.
Sometimes they are just afraid of being left behind or are scared that success will change you.
The right mindset makes a big difference.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Thanks for the advice. A good reminder for me. I don’t get any support for what I am doing right because like you said people have hard believing.
They don’t like change and usually don’t think of things being possible. I know the journey I am taking is not easy but I am already seing results, which means success is immanent.
I hope, I don’t give up on the way.
The funny thing is that they don’t realise that it can make us more determined to succeed. Congratulations, that is wonderful that you are getting results.
They won’t mind so much when you are successful. Enjoy the journey and keep going.
Thank you for commenting.